oi jake you lazy slag, come thru and help me with the groceries! i had to go to asda mate. but listen dude, when i went in there, there was like a plethora of naked dudes trying to fuck the cash register. dude im like what in the hell i cant find a proper job in today's economy and i see naked guys sticking their wees in the cash register?! is that even safe?! still... im not into people's fetishes, maybe PENIS compression is their kink. i love compressing files, it saves space, but weenies? HELL NAH! and listen jake, as i get groceries, the naked guys approach me and then the lights go out. they go like "now its time to get funky, my friend". and dude, i actually started running for my life. good thing the margarine fell and opened. ill never forget how these dudes slipped on that margarine and fell on the floor. like a sack of potatoes. so, we have no margarine, so no more 2 kilogram margarine sandwiches. also forgot to tell you, remember jeremy? the dude that stole the cooking oil from mcdonalds. he got ran over by a truck, but is somehow alive.
